Hurricane S-i-m-u-l-a-t-o-r

Ok so this last week we spent 6 fun filled days in California! Corbin had some schooling he had to attend in Riverside for 4 days. The kids and I decided we would go with him for a little vaca! And when he was done with his training we would take the kids to Disneyland! But that wasn't going to be for 5 days from the day we got to California! SO I was trying to keep my Mother of the Year award and decided to entertain the kids by myself in Riverside California! Have you ever been to Riverside? Not a resort destination to say the least. We had this really nice Hotel that Corbs company got for us, but it was right smack downtown ghettoville! I mean like bars on the windows, across the street from the liquor store, people sitting on their porches drinking their 40's(beer if you don't know what a 40's are)! So I got my trusty little navigation friend Gertrude out and we decided to go to Ontario to a Shopping Mall to see if we could see a movie or something! It was about 20 Min away! Now Gertrude and I have a love/hate relationship! Sometimes I want to totally kick her trash and other times I want to give her a big ol wet kiss! I stepped way out of my bounds driving on the California Freeways. They are the devil! But by the end I was whipping in and out of cars going 101 mph with my head tipped, radio blaring and my right hand on the passenger seat! (not really I never turned ON the radio, I was always at 10 & 2, and I wouldn't even let the kids whisper because I was afraid I would miss what Gertrude had to say!) Anyways I'm getting a little off subject. I took the kids to the mall and I had been a little testy the first morning because I was just a tad bit scared to be in Riverside after waking up and seeing where we were. So when we got to the mall I was willing to Pay a 100 bones just to have some fun! First thing we came to was this Hurricane Simulator in the Food Court of all places(Yes it was lunch time, 12:17 to be exact)! So being the Cool Mom that I am I asked the kids if anyone wanted to do this with me! Hunter looked at me like I had eyeballs growing out my nose and Kenlee was like SURE! So we put in the 2 dollars and this thing started up and I jumped in thinking Kenlee was going to come with me and all of a sudden I was in this thing all by myself and both the kids slammed the door and was on the outside looking at me! This thing was like a tube with clear glass and at the top it had a vent of air blowing at you! OH MY was I sight for sore eyes! This thing started up and I had forgot that I had a dress on until I got in and it started blowing up. I was trying to hold it down with no luck I finally tucked it between my legs. I had my hair put up in a bun with bobby pins and they started shooting out pinging off the clear glass. My hair was flying all over the place. I couldn't see anything. All I could see is all of a sudden their was a bunch of people standing all around this tube thing checking me out! I'm not sure why I didn't just get out and let it eat the rest of my money but nooo I couldn't waste 2 dollars! I tried to put a smile on my face but seriously I wanted to crawl into a big ol gopher hole! When it started to slow down I looked at my kids and the look on their faces was priceless! I tried to get out acting like I was a totally cool mom and that I really loved the Twister but inside I was dying! I see people trying to not bust up into hysterics. I hurried and gathered up the kids and took off to find the restroom. Hunter said "Well that was humiliating" and Kenlee said " I wanted to tell those people to sho sho" as she was waving her hand! I went into the bathroom stall and I want to cry but instead I started laughing and I couldn't stop! It was hilarious! This old fat Mother of the Year with her dress blowing up kicking it in the Hurricane Simulator! I don't know if it gets much better than that! I have lost my touch my friends I believe I'm no longer the awesome young women I use to be! Boy does life catch up fast! So a word of advice never get in a Hurricane Simulator with a dress on! More California fun coming soon!